Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
