it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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