Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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