Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
