But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
