is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
