Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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