If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
