You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
