I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
