Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
