This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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