Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
where are you?
Hypothermia
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
