hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
