did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
