at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
