Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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