She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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