woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
