Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Who died my cat blue again?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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