her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
