atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
