i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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