I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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