Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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