guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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