I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
