I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
