dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
