There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
