It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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