whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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