he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
