NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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