is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
