The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
