I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
