It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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