Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
