She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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