Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
