I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
