so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
