Don't make out with my wife yet
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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