My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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