I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
how does that bad decision feel?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
