I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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