it hurts more in the daytime
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
