i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
