I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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