I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
