I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
