Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
