So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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