yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
